literature

Ashling Luuurves Jeff

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Literature Text

“Damn it, Kitty!” Ashling muttered, reaching for her gun and elbowing the clawing hand out of the way.
“She does have a horrible case of bloodthirst, doesn’t she?” Jeff called from the roof of the pub, sounding mildly interested.
“Just shut up and shoot her!” she yelled back as the girl grabbed Ashling’s gun hand.
“Keep your pants on,” Jeffery muttered, taking aim with his much-loved hunting rifle.
“I’m not wearing pants!” yelled Ashling, kicking the girl’s feet out from under her, sending her face first onto the ground. The girl’s hands, however, were firmly grasping Ashling’s arm, and she soon was back on her feet, her claws tangling in her victim’s skirt. “Just shoot, you ass!”
“Now is that the way to talk to a potential rescuer?” asked Jeff.  Nonetheless, he still tried desperately to get a shot off.
“What is taking so long?” Kitty had grabbed hold of her neck and was pulling her down. “And some help you are, you’re just going to let me die because I called you an ass?”
“Speaking of asses,” he said laughingly as Ashling went sprawling, the back of her skirt flying up. “Keep you pants on,” he repeated, louder. “I’m trying to avoid shooting you in the process, if it can be helped.”
“Well hurry!” The redness in Ashling’s face had nothing to do with the fight, as she sprang to her feet and reached for her gun, which had gone flying when she went falling. As she bent down, there was a loud, hollow pop and a thud. Dead Kitty sat on the ground, looking a little confused and shocked from the explosion. She wasn’t bleeding, and she wasn’t in pain, just stunned from the loud noise and the feeling of a bullet passing through her chest. Pain would come later.
“Now you hurry!” he said tauntingly as Ashling grabbed a needle and ran over to the zombie. She had the needle in the back of her neck before she’d realized that there was something edible within claw’s reach. Kitty slumped to the ground, looking much more dead than she had before Ashling brought her back to life. “Come on, little Kitty, let’s get you patched up.”

“Who shot me?” she screamed, barely awake.
“Nice to see you too, Kitty. You know, we wouldn’t have to shoot you if you wouldn’t try to eat us.”
“I thought we decided that I couldn’t be prosecuted for crimes when I wasn’t conscious.”
“And you weren’t prosecuted, just shot.”
Kitty sighed, then held her bandaged side.
“Quit with the theatrics,” Jeff muttered. “Ashling’s got you patched up just fine.”
“Okay, you shot me. But of course you‘re going to defend anything Ashling‘s done.” Holding her hands up to her heart, she continued, “Oh, Ashling, my one true love, the only one who my heart beats for, I love you, I love love love love love you!”
“Shut up, Kitty,” he muttered as she continued.
“Oh, Jeffery!” she said in a very high-pitched, squeaky voice. “I love you too, you’re the only one that my dead heart beats for!”
“Shut up, Kitty,” they both sad, Ashling’s face going red again.
“And since when did I turn into a mouse?”
It's Jeff and Ashling. I had way fun writing this.

And don't take the "speaking of asses," in the wrong way...
I just thought it fit :D
© 2008 - 2024 Bodici22
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AndreaHarper's avatar
*giggles* I would have used 'Nice underwear.', but that's just me. You've got them both down perfectly. It amuses me.